Is The Sound of Music the Better Valentine’s Day Film?

When February 14th rolls around and you’re looking for a cinematic masterpiece to turn on as the night slows down, you may be drawn to typical Rom Coms like How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days, When Harry Met Sally, or Notting Hill. All fabulous choices for a nineties nostalgic wave. But this year, it may be time to turn on an old childhood favorite once again. Not necessarily considered a Rom Com, or a Romance at face value, The Sound of Music teaches us more about love than most other movies made today. 

While a flair for appealing to antiquity is our strong suit, the Julie Andrews iconic movie from 1965 no doubt brings something to the table that modern movies often don’t: a view of rightly ordered loves. While most Romances in cinema these days hinge on the idea that the protagonist must be uncontrollably head-over-heals for their suitor as confirmation for lifelong commitment, The Sound of Music does something different. Instead of placing the romantic emphasis on emotions, it redirects it to duty. 

As a refresher, the timeless tale told in nearly three hours of masterful film is the real life story of an unkempt postulant that finds herself as a nanny for seven wiley children. Over time, she is drawn to their widowed-naval-officer-father and quits when she realizes she is actually deeply in love. She returns to the abbey, recommits her love for God, but discovers that life as a nun may not be her calling, after all.

A faithful life, she discovers, doesn’t only mean an ecclesiastical path. Her choice to return back to Georg, and their subsequent marriage, displays several examples of Rightly Ordered Love. Rightly Ordered Love doesn’t just mean loving God above everything else, but a hierarchy of love that cascades down from that, encompassed in all facets of life– first love for God, then a proper love of family, community and then the wider world. Anything other than this order, and self-idolatry and disruption occur. We often see these themes of disordered love all around us. 

Every love story is different, but Maria and Georg's love shows us that romance doesn’t have to just be an adrenaline rush, (although she may get a little flushed while dancing). Their relationship shows us what it looks like to redirect love outward instead of sitting in how it makes us feel. At the start of the film, it’s clear that Maria is a free spirit who loves lots of things– music, freedom, creativity, and long hikes in the hills, but she had no direction for these things. By the end, she finds that her talents carried love to her new husband and children in a way that brought joy to their lives, transforming their melancholy world. 

They say that opposites attract, and Georg was the direct opposite of Maria at the start. He loved authority, even whistled at his own children, and ran his home like a ship. That’s all he really knew. And while authority can be good, his home was not the proper place for that dominance. Then after marriage, his passion was redirected towards a heinous government and he softened towards his family. 

Rightly ordered love transforms more than feelings. Entire homes, communities and civilizations can be transformed when there is a foundation of shared responsibility and trusted character in a relationship that lays the foundation for a flourishing love.

The Sound of Music also presents a perspective of disordered love, through The Baroness Shraeder who was set to marry Georg before Maria entered the picture. Rather than bringing warmth and love, she let it slip that she planned to send the children off to boarding school just as soon as she could. Her priorities for family were far below her desire for social status and the cosmopolitan opportunities marriage to Georg might bring.

The Sound of Music's presentation of romance invites us to consider our own relationships. If you are new to a relationship, ask yourself what this affection is producing. Does it draw you closer to your family, your vocation, your commitments, or your faith? Or does it isolate you in a private emotional bubble that feels intoxicating but detached from responsibility?

If you are married, remember that duty is not the enemy of romance. Duty is one of its highest expressions. Choosing your spouse in small, unglamorous ways each day is a blessed type of passion.

If you are not married, remember that rightly ordered love begins long before a wedding. It shows up in how you steward your time, how you honor your family, how you care for your community and how you discipline your own desires. Romance is not a standalone category but takes formation that can start at any time. 

As you consume romantic content this season, consider stacking it up against the framework of Rightly Ordered Love. Does the story celebrate love that is rooted in something higher than personal fulfillment? Does it honor commitment over chemistry? Does it show affection strengthening family rather than replacing it?

Maria does not follow her feelings into chaos, spurred on by her heart. She tests them against truth, seeks counsel, and returns to the Abbey before moving forward. Georg does holds our for Maria, and their love is build on shared responsibility and in the end, courage.

The final scene of The Sound of Music doesn’t end at their wedding or with a kiss. Instead, it closes to the timeless tune of “Climb Every Mountain” as the family escapes to freedom in the wake of the Nazi’s call for Georg. Perhaps this is the most beautiful and rightly exemplified scene of all. Love, rightly ordered, does not simply end in private bliss, but carries you somewhere. Sometimes literally.

This Valentine’s Day, you can have the chocolate and the roses. But perhaps also let your heart be tutored by a story that reminds you that love is not merely something you fall into, but formed by our convictions and extended to our homes, families, communities and little by little, the world.