Alison Cheperdak Is Here to Save You From Social Faux Pas

We’ve all been there– lying in bed after an event replaying all the mishaps… the awkward time you used someone’s name incorrectly, the lingering handshake, and maybe standing alone in the corner at a networking event pretending to survey the charcuterie board. 

Did you tip enough, or too much? Did I offend someone’s grandmother with that comment?

If only we could sprinkle some magic dust, and suddenly, comfort is abundant for anyone in our presence. What do you do in these cringeworthy situations without a magic wand? Meet Alison, the multi-hyphenate talent working to rescue you from your faux pas.

Alison Cheperdak has worn a myriad of hats– both literally and figuratively. From her first job working on a fishing boat to an ice dancing queen, newscaster, attorney, and even in the White House, she noticed a pattern. If people understood not only the protocol of a situation but why it existed, their interactions and opportunities could change dramatically. 

Etiquette and executive presence, she uncovered, weren’t superficial skills; they were strategic ones. 

She never had a plan to teach etiquette, but was interested in this insider strategy to finding confidence and deepening her own understanding of moving through the world with grace. Now, she is sharing what she's uncovered with the world.

Her new book, Was it Something I Said? Everyday Etiquette to Avoid Awkward Moments in Relationships, Work, and Life is aiming to save us from ourselves and capture the universal, slightly vulnerable moments we’ve all experienced that open the door to deeper conversation about communication, intention, and grace. Etiquette, Alison believes, isn’t about perfection or blindly following rules, but is meant to serve people with kindness, integrity, and respect for others and ourselves. 

This approach to etiquette counters most images that come to mind when manners and social graces are mentioned. When most people hear the word “etiquette”, they think of a strict older teacher with a ruler in hand, or standing with books on their head, Princess Mia of Genovia style. Neither scenario screams “practical life skill.” 

A general distaste often arises at the mention of formal etiquette training, not only because it recalls a likely boring class you once took in middle school about holding a fork correctly, but also because of a fear that you might be following the rules incorrectly and embarrassing yourself.

Yet while many people would rather avoid etiquette training altogether, the cultural evidence suggests the opposite problem. Tampa International Airport recently banned passengers from wearing pajamas after repeated complaints about the decline of basic dignity while traveling, revealing the deeper truth that people aren't rebelling against manners, but longing for clearer standards for dignity and behavior.

Alison is bringing the remedy as a real-life Elle Woods, complete with platinum blonde hair, blue mascara, and often a pastel wardrobe. In a world of over-casuality and constant over-talking, she is here to save the day with modern, practical advice in the pages of her new publication and on her Instagram @elevateetiquette with over 600,000 followers. She kindly shared a few tips of her magic wand strategy exclusively with The Swish to help us grow in confidence and grace, ahead of her book release on March 17th.

First up, a piece of etiquette advice that often does more harm than good. 

“Any etiquette 'rule' that is followed blindly, without considering the relationship or the people involved, can do more harm than good.” Alison shared with us. “Etiquette should serve people, not the other way around.”

“I also think some of the older rules around grief need more compassion. For example, the expectation that someone who has suffered a profound loss must promptly write thank-you notes for funeral attendance or support can feel unnecessarily burdensome. If putting pen to paper means reliving fresh pain, that is not the moment to prioritize formality.

It is perfectly acceptable to recruit help, to delay those notes, or to respond in a simpler way. If writing thank you notes during a grieving period means reliving the pain, I believe in giving yourself grace.”

Grace is the star ingredient in the modern approach to etiquette that Alison so purposefully embodies, a quality she points out in a woman she’s long admired for grace under scrutiny: Reese Witherspoon.

“[She] is someone I’ve long admired (and not just because she stars in one of my favorite movies!). I see her as someone who is principled and leads with conviction and doesn’t seem to dignify unwarranted criticism with attention.”

Leading with conviction is a theme in her book, reminding readers that strength, especially in speech, is not about volume or sharpness but clarity and composure. As a woman with a softer voice, this topic is dear to her heart. Alison reminded us,

“Strong speech sounds like someone who knows what she thinks and is comfortable saying it. It avoids over-qualifying, excessive disclaimers, or undercutting phrases like “This might be silly, but…” It also resists the urge to dominate or interrupt to be heard. True strength in speech comes from preparation, emotional regulation, and conviction. When you are grounded in your message and steady in your delivery, you do not need to perform power. You embody it.”

If you have personal or professional goals this year, Alison's book is a great place to start. Each chapter highlights a different theme, reiterating her underlying focus of helping us see that honor and respect for one another are currencies you can’t buy; they must be learned, even in the way you encourage better manners within a marriage. How do you help a spouse in need of a little formal training?

"It really depends on what you’re hoping to improve, but I find it helpful to approach conversations about manners the way you would a love language rather than a list of corrections. Instead of saying, “You always…” or “You should…,” you might say, “I feel really loved when…” or “It makes me feel respected when…” That frames the conversation around connection, not critique.

In other situations, it can be helpful to emphasize that you’re on the same team. If you notice something — perhaps table manners or how your partner interacts in professional settings — it’s best to mention it privately and with care. The goal isn’t to nitpick; it’s to support one another. You can frame it as wanting to help them make the strongest possible impression at work or in social settings.

When etiquette is presented as an act of partnership rather than correction, it strengthens a marriage instead of straining it."

Etiquette, the way Alison approaches it, is the magic wand and secret strategy we need to find confidence in the way we engage, and if we’ve messed up, Alison wants you to know there is almost always a way to recover.

“A sincere apology, a clarifying conversation, or simply choosing to show up with more thoughtfulness next time can go a long way. Etiquette is not about never making a mistake. It is about how you respond, how you repair, and the genuine desire in your heart to get it right.”

Alison Cheperdak is helping usher in a new era of honor and respect in a world that has all but forgotten how to communicate, and doing so in a way that is practical and even fun, a refreshing departure from the usual etiquette classes. From the way we carry ourselves to greet new people, the language of etiquette allows us all to rise to the occasion, no matter our background. Like a magic wand, her guidance prepares us to walk into any room confidently, with grace, making others feel comfortable and handling it all with ease.

Find Was it Something I Said? Everyday Etiquette to Avoid Awkward Moments in Relationships, Work and Life available for pre-order now