A Teacup Tradition Filled with Wisdom to the Brim

For as long as I can remember, my grandma and mother were sharing their love of tea time with me. Together, their love of this pastime brought me to elegant tea experiences as we traveled in Bangkok to the Oriental and Shangri-La hotels, but they also instilled in me a reverence for a cup of tea in a comfy chair at home.

As I grew, tea time slowly transformed into church events and a way to host friends and family. We found holidays obviously needed the tea time magic sprinkled on them, and it continued to evolve as it became themed with foods inspired by all over the world. Tea became the conversation starter that ignited my relationship with my now-husband, and we made sure to incorporate it in our wedding reception with tea party elements.

The family's love for tea poured into other activities as well. Whether it was finding shops that let us sample teas or wandering through nooks of antique stores in search of unique tea service items, we loved spending time together around our little hobby. But this tradition had been brewing long before I realized.

Early in my grandparents' marriage, my grandfather gifted my grandmother a charming and delicate floral tea set with six teacups and a teapot for their anniversary. It was a set she elegantly displayed on a table in her home and used for special occasions. As she sat down with scripture, she was inspired by Philippians 1:3,4 which reads: “I thank my God every time I remember you. In all my prayers for all of you, I always pray with joy.” Thoughtfully, she wrote down a little poem and started planning how to give her favorite tea cups away to her daughters and eventually granddaughters that she hoped would come in time.

As one daughter lived in Washington state and the other was moving to an island in the Pacific Ocean, the distance only made the gifting of the cups more imperative. My grandmother carefully wrapped the cups and penned her handwritten poem on a little card — the kind given with flowers. This cup was given to my mother long before I arrived in her life, and I always had memories of this cherished cup being precious to her. Little did I know this tradition was to be passed on to me when the time was right.

Years had passed, and on one drizzly morning in the Seattle area, Grandma gathered up her granddaughters for a girls' breakfast. After a warming meal, Grandma talked about how proud she was of us as she passed out the bags she had individually chosen for each granddaughter. She explained how the tradition of the remembrance cup started and how she wanted to share it with us now as we were older and able to treasure the gift. As we opened our bags, we found our own teacups from Grandma's set with a little card inscribed with the scripture passage and poem.

Phil. 1:3,4 Whenever you might be lonely Reach for the Remembrance Cup only,Fill it with your favorite drink To help you reminisce and think Of the good times, fun times and mirth Together we shared since your very birth.And when miles will part us for awhile, Use this cup... to bring a smile. Love, Mother

This was one of the most meaningful traditions my grandma personally passed down: her gift of The Remembrance Cup.

As time went on, I watched my grandma's tea set dwindle down to an empty display table. My mother inherited the teapot as she fondly continues the tea time tradition. Yet when I have missed my grandma, I have reached for the cup. The card sits beside it, and as I have my favorite tea in hand, I read the poem again, remembering the women who have been so intentional in their time with me.

My grandmother's wisdom, rooted in Biblical scripture, is the essence of a woman who aspired towards truth, beauty, and goodness. She meditated on and planned the way she would live her life as a mother and grandmother. She looked to the future and invested with purpose. Although my grandma has now passed, she has given me the opportunity to lovingly share the tradition.

From creating a ritual with a group of friends or with family, I have found that there is something intimate when bringing others together around a table of goodies and tea. Most people are just waiting to be invited and handed a cup shared in love. You may even choose to hand out beautiful tea cups as gifts to those who grace your table.

But there can often be a hesitancy tied to tea time as we can feel that it has to be an extravagant spread fit for a queen. Although I have loved lavish tea times, there is something to be said of the calm, sacred moment of a cup of tea tenderly prepared for yourself as you settle in for the evening. This was something my grandma deeply understood. There is a peace that comes with the warmth of the tea cup. It is an invitation to pause gently as you slowly transition to being present through each sip.

This became a heritage practice. It was not only a way to daily nurture the hearts and minds of others, but myself. This sacred tradition showed me to take each day in stride and to reminisce on those who loved, cherished, and supported me through it all. It allows me to sit back and remember all the women who have come before me and the spiritual inheritance I am blessed to receive because of their prayers. That delicate cup graciously fills with gratitude as it empties of tea.

This was the true gift, one that will continue to be passed down through the generations. Even though you may find yourself separated from those you love for a time, this beautiful tradition will remind you to look back on the moments filled with goodness and smile. Being born and raised on an island in the Pacific Ocean, surrounded by many cultures, has given Victoria Ocker an appreciation for art, culture, and most of all — family. The wisdom passed on to her from people she has encountered has shaped her deeply. She currently lives in Florida with her husband as their roots continue to grow and expand.

All images are used with permission from the author, Victoria Ocker.

Biblical Passage Citation: Holy Bible, New International Version®, NIV® Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.® Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.