How to Read Like a Lady, Not a Fanfic Addict

In a world where “reading” has become a catch-all term from consuming thoughtful literature to breezing through the latest steamy “romantasy” saga trending on Booktok—it’s worth pausing to ask: what is the purpose of reading? And more importantly, what does it mean to read in a way that cultivates depth and discernment?

The Problem Isn't Reading—It's What We Call Reading

Classical femininity isn't about nostalgia or prudishness, but forming a cultivated and intentional life that is rooted in truth, beauty, and goodness. That principle extends to our bookshelves.

Today, many women say they’re “readers,” but their reading habits are more escapism than enrichment. Romance novels with explicit scenes, endless fantasy series with barely concealed erotica, and surface-level self-help dominate bestseller lists targeted at women. While there's nothing wrong with leisure reading in itself, the normalization—and celebration—of smut in the name of “empowerment” or “self-care” has eroded our cultural literacy.

The classically feminine woman asks more of her mind and soul. She understands that what you feed your imagination will either elevate your character or cheapen it.

What Reading Classically Means

At the heart of classical reading is the cultivation of the moral imagination. The moral imagination is the ability to perceive and desire the good, even before we have the words or logic to explain why something is good. It’s trained not by arguments, but by stories. Stories that stir us to desire and admire courage, loyalty, sacrifice, purity, mercy, and integrity.

A child (or grown-up, let's be honest!) who reads The Chronicles of Narnia learns to love goodness before she knows how to define it. A woman who reads Jane Eyre begins to see how virtue can look like restraint, even when passion is strong. A soul shaped by such stories begins to desire what is noble, not just what is exciting.

Modern reading trends often do the opposite: they normalize dysfunction, glamorize abuse, and twist virtue into weakness. Its all based on shock-value. When this is the steady diet, our imagination is no longer moved by what is good and true but dulled by a harmful habit. We start to root for anti-heroes and resent anything that smells like restraint or discipline once we get stuck in this loop, and over time, what once shocked us now barely stirs us.

To read classically is to resist that erosion. It’s to surround yourself with narratives that make goodness compelling again. It's not about reading only what affirms your worldview but about selecting books that shape your soul instead of just entertaining your senses.

This also means you aren't only reading old books, but reading books that:

• Deepen your moral imagination

• Refine your sense of beauty and language

• Cultivate empathy without moral compromise

• Challenge your assumptions without undermining truth

  
  

It's also about how you read: slowly, reflectively and with attention. Reading is not just another thing to consume, but rather to come into conversation with it by taking ideas and reflecting on them whether or not you accept them.

A Framework for Thoughtful Reading

Here are three questions to guide your book selections and reading habits:

1. Does this form or deform my affections?

What do I love more after reading this book? Is it virtue, sacrifice, goodness, wisdom? Or is it control, lust, vanity, or vengeance?

We become what we behold and that includes the inner lives we dwell in through fiction. A classically feminine woman doesn’t expose herself to stories that glamorize dysfunction and then wonder why she feels anxious, bitter, or empty.

2. Is this beautiful or just addictive?

There’s a difference between a book that keeps you turning pages because it’s well-crafted and one that keeps you turning pages because it’s emotionally manipulative.

You don’t need to swear off modern books, but you should become skilled at discerning whether you’re being moved by beauty, or manipulated by dopamine.

3. Am I growing in empathy and clarity?

Good literature helps you understand people you don’t agree with but that doesn’t mean all perspectives are equally true. The goal isn’t just tolerance but finding wisdom.

Don’t be afraid to read challenging books, but do so grounded in the lens of objective truth. You can engage with opposing worldviews without becoming muddled or passive.

A Balanced Bookshelf

Here’s what a balanced, classically feminine reading list might include:

• Classics: Jane Austen, Tolstoy, Dante, the Brontës, Marcus Aurelius

• Modern literary fiction: Marilynne Robinson, Wendell Berry, Amor Towles

• Essays & philosophy: Simone Weil, C.S. Lewis, Edith Stein, Josef Pieper

• Biographies & memoirs: Abigail Adams, Corrie ten Boom, Queen Victoria

• Occasional fiction or historical romance—so long as it dignifies love, not distorts it.

In classical femininity, we’re not reading for clout. We’re reading to curate our character. To become wise and more eloquent. To become someone with a well-furnished mind and a well-ordered heart. That doesn’t happen accidentally and it doesn’t happen through smut disguised as empowerment.

In a culture obsessed with consumption, reading redemptively is a quiet rebellion.